Taken during Mother's Day 2007

I’m back in Singapore today. I just want to take this moment of silent that I’m experiencing now to put down my thoughts and hope that this will be a personal reminder to myself of this important person in my life.

Last Wednesday, I experienced a death in my family. Something that shook me from my daily life telling me that I should start to care and think about the people around me. My grandmother passed away at the age of 80, quite unexpectedly. It all happened too fast and she slipped away from us while we are all still busy with our life. She spent the last few years of her life on the bed. There are many regrets in my life and not being there during those last few hours is one of them.

Thinking back, I remembered I used to stay over with po po over the weekends. She used to bring me along with her to places where she used to help to do housekeeping. After coming back from doing housekeeping work, that will normally be afternoon already, we will have teatime at home. That’s when I learnt that dipping cookies into my tea makes it tastier to eat. She always kept her cookies at the top of her shelf and I always know where to find my favorite cookies.

Grandmother is a woman that abides to all customary rules. She always taught me that a girl should never lift their legs on the chair and their hair should always be in place, she frowns at people with messy hairstyle. I remember once I forgot to comb my hair after bathing, she scolded me “teng nga yu”, I laughed at it because I thought it was funny at that time thinking it back now, it only bring tears to my eyes.

I also remember how she used to mark on those huge Chinese calendar, the birthdays of all her children and grandchildren. One of the presents I received from her is this little pink egg basket with 2 little white chicks in it and when you shake it the little chickens will make some sound. Now, I don’t even know whether I will still be able to find the toy again.

Walking behind her coffin to send her off through the last part of her life, I cried the hardest. All those memories of her I have accumulated during my childhood days came flooding my memories during that time. The walk we used to walk together came to my mind so vividly. I won’t be able to see the person that used to care for me anymore, the person that taught me to dip cookies into my tea.

I miss you so much, po po…